When to Start Therapy for Relationships

First things first, you do not need to have a “problem” to start therapy. You read that right. You can start therapy even if things are going well. Actually, I would encourage you to!

Let’s take a look at an analogy. We go to the doctor for annual visits, or wellness checks, but we can also go when we’re not feeling well. Similar to the doctor’s, you can use therapy as an opportunity to maintain the progress you have made in your relationship or for a tune up.

Relationship therapy is unique in that it allows a third party, or the therapist, to see the dynamics live. The therapist is able to highlight patterns of interaction based on what they see, hear, and offer a different perspective. Relationship therapy is a great place for people to look within, create healthier relationships, and learn more about each other.

You may have noticed that I am using the term “Relationship Therapy” instead of “Couples Therapy.” I do that purposefully to encompass a broader population. When I say “relationship,” I am referring not only to couples, but to different types of partnerships, family relationships, and even friendships. Relationships look different to everyone and it doesn’t necessarily have to be two people or a romantic one to start therapy to help foster a healthier one.

If you’re feeling ready to start healing your relationship, reach out today!

Request an appointment here: https://wallflower.clientsecure.me/ or Text (407) 801-2865

New Year, New Me

2025 is quickly approaching! For many, this is a chance to revisit personal goals and create new year resolutions. While you don’t need to wait for the new year to create or achieve goals, it can be a fun way to motivate yourself to make positive improvements throughout this upcoming year.

Here are some ideas that you might wish to incorporate into your new year resolutions:

• Incorporating more self-care

• Creating a better work/life-balance

• Practicing healthier habits

• Finding a new hobby or picking up an old one

• Starting therapy

• Moving your body more

• Spend more time with your loved ones

How are you planning on starting out this new year? What are some things that you would like to see by the end of it?

How to Mentally Prepare for the Holidays

The Holiday season is here! Unfortunately it does not always bring good cheer. Let’s talk about how to mentally prepare for the holidays as it quickly approaches us.

First, take a deep breath. The holidays are stressful enough and you are not doing yourself any good by ruminating on your thoughts. Think about what boundaries you would like to implement and keep them in mind. Is it limiting conversation about a particular subject, being firm in your budget for gifts, or saying no to hosting a gathering? Okay, that is fine!

Next, make a plan by setting mini goals for yourself. How are you going to implement these boundaries? Make it achievable and realistic.

Lastly, take care of yourself. Like, really. We can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure to do nice things that you actually enjoy during this season.

How to Reduce Stress & Anxiety During Hurricanes in Florida

As someone who was born and raised in Orlando, Florida, I have been a victim of being nonchalant when it comes to hurricane season. However, with Hurricane Milton and seeing the damage that Ian brought to Orlando, fear is warranted. My heart goes out to surrounding cities like Tampa and Sarasota that are at a higher risk. Thankfully, Orlando is more inland and the impact of the hurricane is projected to be less severe, but it still increases stress and anxiety for many people. Please be sure to follow instructions from local authorities, be prepared, and do your best.

Stress and anxiety are often perceived as negative or maladaptive feelings. Sometimes it can get us in a dark place, down a rabbit hole, or make things worse. Sometimes it serves a purpose and actually helps us listen to our gut and be prepared for the worst case scenario.

You’re probably thinking “okay great, sure sometimes it’s helpful sometimes it’s not. what now?” Assuming that you listened to the authorities (watched for evacuation orders, etc.), have shelter, basic needs (food, water, lights, other hurricane necessities, etc.), and are doing your best, here are some tips to help reduce stress and anxiety during hurricanes in Florida:

1) Have something to do to keep you in the present moment and your mind off the hurricane such as board games, video games (Nintendo switch, etc.), books, painting, crocheting, or what your heart desires!

2) Take the opportunity to do stuff around the house that you didn’t get a chance to do before if your situation allows for it.

3) Download movies beforehand and watch them during the storm.

4) Practice coping skills such as box breathing, 54321, or guided meditation.

I hope everyone stays safe!

Spooky Season Doesn’t Have to be so Scary: How Couples Therapy Can Help

Here in Florida, Spooky season has multiple meanings. Yes, there is Halloween, but there are also hurricanes, school and job closures, and general anxiety due to the state of the world.

With hurricanes, comes school and company wide job closures which can lead to a lot of stress at home and within relationships. Loss of income, financial stress, damage from the hurricane and storms, in addition to existing concerns can really take a toll on our mental health!

Often times, people start individual and couples therapy when they are in the midst of experiencing their concerns or at their last few straws. Don’t wait until it is too late to reach out for help. Couples/relational and individual therapy can begin before relationships and symptoms get worse. If your car was on fire, you wouldn’t wait until a firefighter happened to pass you by to call for help, right? I hope not! I am sure you would call them or take action before you get hurt. So what makes your mental health and relationship different?

Navigating Relationship Challenges: Communication

Relationships take work and a great deal of communication.

Relationships aren’t something that we were particularly taught how to manage or navigate. Maybe you had a good role model growing up who taught you the basics, or maybe you didn’t. The same goes with communication. We talk to people every day, but how effective is our communication? 

When it comes to relationships, it is important to communicate clearly and effectively. You can start by using “I” statements. Often times when we are talking or even arguing, we put a lot of blame on the other person. For example, we may say things like “you never take out the trash!” By starting the sentence with “you” and following it with a negative statement, we put a lot of unnecessary blame on the other person, which will more than likely trigger an argument. Instead, try saying something like “I would appreciate help in taking the trash out.” Do you see the difference? For starters, we are focusing on “I,” or the self. It minimizes the likelihood of defense from the person on the receiving end. It also effectively and clearly states our request while minimizing blame.

Finding the Right Therapist

Finding the right fit in a therapist is kind of like dating. Yeah, you read that right. Remember, therapists are humans too. What makes them different from you is the credentials. Sometimes the vibes won’t be alright and that’s okay. As the client, you have the ability to terminate therapy and find another therapist. 

There is such thing as a therapeutic relationship. It is actually pretty important. What it refers to is the relationship between the therapist and client. Just like any other relationship, it may take time to build. At the end of the day, you both are two strangers who just met. Of course, the therapist is a working professional but rapport between two people is something that can take time to build. Maybe you have given them a chance over a handful of sessions and still feel like they don’t understand you or something is just off. That is okay too! 

In searching for a therapist, make sure they work with the concerns that you are seeking help for. For example, you wouldn’t reach out to a child therapist for your grandmother. Other things to consider are cost, approach, and location. How much are they charging per session? Do they accept insurance? What is their approach? Does that align with your needs? Where are they located? Do I want to have therapy in-person or virtually? Do I want the option to choose between the two if they are local? A lot of it comes down to personal preference and logistics.

When to Start Therapy and What to Expect

Are you considering therapy but don’t know where or when to start? Maybe you have questions like “how do I know I need therapy?” or “what can I expect?” Well, you have come to the right place! These are all good questions so let’s dive into it.

When to Start Therapy

So you’ve heard of this thing called “therapy” that everyone is doing and you are wondering when a good time to start is. Well, that partly depends on you. Consider what it is that you want out of therapy first. Some people may think “well, there’s nothing wrong with me… I don’t really have an actual reason to go like others do.” That is fine too! You do not need to have a “problem” to begin therapy. Just like going to the doctor for annual wellness visits, you can most certainly see a therapist to be proactive about your mental health. If you do find that you have concerns that you would like to address in therapy, consider asking yourself these questions: “am I in a space that I am able to commit to consistent sessions? am I open to learning and practicing skills taught in therapy?” Therapy is a collaborative effort (usually – depends on the therapist and their approach) between the client and the therapist. Remember, sessions are typically 1 hour for 1 week so the rest of the time is up to you to upkeep the things that you learned in therapy.

What to Expect

Okay, hopefully you now have a better understanding of when to start therapy. To recap, the answer is the dreaded “it depends.” Now let’s explore what to expect in therapy. Before you even start therapy, you will need to sign consent forms stating that you agree to receive treatment. Often times the therapist’s office will ask for screeners or questionnaires to have some information to go off before meeting you. This helps us to know what to expect in terms of symptoms, concerns, and severity of symptoms. It also serves to pre-screen to see if we are a good fit for each other.

There are many types of therapies. I will refer to the most common, or talk therapy. In talk therapy, you can expect to talk about your concerns. Sessions typically last for about an hour (50-60 minutes). Again, some of this is dependent on the client but frequency of sessions is usually weekly or biweekly meetings. 

Every therapist is different in their approach so I will speak for myself. In the first session, I aim to gather information on you, your concerns, and other relevant history (friends, family, relationships, etc.).  I will also ask you for your goals in therapy. What are you hoping to work on during our time together? How can I help you? The second session and onward will consist of us working together to meet those goals that we have set in the beginning. Therapy goals can always be adjusted as we go, but it is good to have a starting point and an idea of the direction we want to head towards.